Some days I just really want to grow a massive bush and see what it's like.
Updated 27 minutes ago
“@amyvoges: knees and elbows. i hate them.”my knees look like Chinese people ^_^
Updated 31 minutes ago
I would make an amazing escort if it was something I actually wanted to do. But it isn't.
Updated 1 hour 13 minutes ago
I want to fall asleep but I am so hooked on this show Satisfaction! It's about Australian sex workers in an upscale brothel. SO GOOD!
Updated 1 hour 19 minutes ago
My favorite female comic to watch perform is Maria Bamford though. But Sarah Silverman is wayyyy hotter. I'd fuck her so hard.
Updated 5 hours ago
“@nixskits: out of curiosity, who do u think is the hottest female comic? Sarah Silverman?”she's damn sexy and shares my love of poop jokes
Updated 5 hours ago
If you guys were wondering where my thirst for Jewish comedians began, it was when I was 17 and had a sex dream about Jerry Seinfeld.
Updated 5 hours ago
my unwillingness to get off the couch plus my lack of a babysitter means that Demitri Martin will miss out on having me in his audience.
Updated 5 hours ago
@jenna_valentine I'll go if my friend wants to pick me up. I really don't want to drive. I liked his show.
Updated 6 hours ago
Ooh just got invited to see Demitri Martin tonight. We'll see if this lazy grandma wants to get off of the couch..
Updated 6 hours ago
These iPhones are phones too?!
Updated 6 hours ago
If @realjeffreyross were my valentine, I'd dip his penis in orange chicken and suck on it for days.
Updated 7 hours ago
If @realjeffreyross were my valentine, I'd let him rip my new lingerie off of me and even give him my orange chicken.
Updated 7 hours ago
I've bonded with my shower spider. I named her Gwenda. She eats ants and watches me bathe. When she dies I will c http://t.co/PkPqfc5N
Updated 12 hours ago
RT @DaveKnowsPDX: Free admission to @PDXArtMuseum today from 5pm-8pm! http://t.co/CWv9nDrj There will be foodcarts too! #PDXEvents
Updated 14 hours ago
I may be white, but I really want some grits for breakfast.
Updated 15 hours ago
Will someone come bring me tea and cuddles in bed? Sex would be nice too.
Updated 16 hours ago
Okay just had the most adorable dream about @pattonoswalt that makes up for the nightmare I had previously :)
Updated 16 hours ago
going to bed watching Problem Child in hopes I will dream of @RealGilbert as a principle bending me over his desk and fucking me from behind
Updated 1 day(s) ago
well my sister had to leave so you guys have to wait til next time. meow.
Updated 1 day(s) ago
This is the bottom of the page....
Arabella Drummond
Jade Vixen
